Thoughts on Life

As you reach a certain point in your life, some things start to become clear. And that, in itself, is understandable. The thing that seems to have taken me by surprise is the fact that as more things become clear, and I know more about the world that I live in, I find myself disappointed. I don’t know if mortality is setting in as I start to realize that life is shorter than anyone could explain. Or maybe I am disappointed in the lack of things that I have accomplished at the ripe old age of twenty-two. But I am starting to believe something slightly different. My mind has always led me in strange directions.

My imagination has been the driving force behind everything that I have done in life. Whether it was my sense of humor or style of writing, a strong imagination has led me off the beaten path. It has allowed me to stand out among my peers. But as I get older, the world has gotten smaller. The mysteries that have kept my imagination alive are starting to fade away, replaced with facts and truths that I have collected through experience and knowledge.

Most people would look at that and say that I am growing as a person, someone who knows more about the world, but I believe that I am shrinking. Or at least my mind is shrinking. There are new limitations on a mind that used to flourish with unknowns and multiple possibilities. It seems that the more I know the less room I have to fill in the blanks how I would like. I guess I am realizing that the world was not all I made it up to be. The perfect fantasies that guided my childhood have been blocked out and covered up by the ugly reality of life as we know it today. I guess you could say I am depressed, but as a matter of fact I believe that depression is a more realistic state than any I know or am likely to know in my life. Depression is the realization that the world is smaller and crueler that you ever thought, and that in itself is just another fact.

In my opinion, the less you know, the more you guess and create for yourself, the better. I am not saying anyone should choose to be naive, but it certainly makes for a more pleasant and consuming lifestyle. Of course, that could just be me.